Little Orphan Orange

Hello sir/ / maa,

Good day, i will like to purchase some product from your store to my store down here, but before i proceed in sending the exact item intrested, i will like to know ifyou can accpet  credit card for the payment and if you ship via fedex or ems to lagos nigeria. I  await your response asap.
 
Looking forward in your response.
Regards
phone # 234-1-8023552240

Bob Lee……………..

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
Thank you for writing to inquire about initiating a business relationship with our esteemed company. We do indeed accept payment by all major credit cards. If properly wooed, we can also ship using the noble courier known to you as FedEx. I've never heard of Nigeria, but if it has an airport, we will ship there too! Let's do this thing Bob!
 
Yours truly,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy

Thanks for the mail and for the positive answer to my enquiry.here are the things needed.
 
1, Sony MZ-RH10 Portable Hi-MD MP3 Recorder……………………..8pcs
 
2, Sony MDR-EX71SL/WK………………………………………………….10pcs
 
3, Sony CDX-757MX  MP3 Capable 10-disc CD Changer…………….7pcs
 
4, Alpine KCA-420i  iPod control interface adapter……………………..8pcs
 
5, Sylvania DVL-100D  Home DVD/CD player………………………….4pcs
 
6, Sony MDX-F5800  MD receiver with MD/CD changer controls……6pcs
 
I await to read from you along the quote today so that i can make the payment as soon as i get the quote from you and i will like you to get back to me along with the shipment fee and i will like you to have it in mind that heer in nigeria we have an airport so you can ship it for me thrue fedex. So i  wait to read from you as soon as you read this mail message
 
Have a nice day.
 
Bob Lee Nigeria Limited.
8 Muibi Street Off Oloson
Pololice station
Mushin
Lagos.
Nigeria
23401
Phone-number 234-1-8023552240
 
Bob

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
Your list of electronics reads like a who's-who of the best, brightest (and sassiest) of today's digital brat pack. You have made very fine selections indeed. May I also suggest the following:
 
Hamachi Nigiri………4 pcs
Tekka Maki…………..8 pcs
Gyoza…………………6 pcs
Aspartame & Pear Compote….10 servings
 
If you would like to add these to your order, the entire kit and caboodle can be yours for the dubious price of $7600 with FedEx shipping to your quaint little airport.
 
What say you, Bob?


Sincerely,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy


MATT,
 
HELLO,
HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND? HERE IS MY CARDS BELOW FOR THE BILL,

CREDIT CARD ACC# XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
CREDIT CARD EXP DATE:05/08
CREDIT CARD CCV : 109
CARD TYPE:MASTER CARD
 
CREDIT CARD ACC# XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
CREDIT CARD EXP DATE:09/07
CREDIT CARD CCV :650
CARD TYPE:MASTER CARD
 
I WANT YOU TO SPLIT THE CHARGES FROM THE EACH CARD EQUALLY  AND BILL FOR THE ORDER AND GET BACK TO EM WITH THE CONFIRMATION.
I AWAIT YOUR QUICKEST EMAIL WITH CONFIRMATION.

NOTE I WANT THE SHIPPMENT VIA EMS OR FEDEX TO LAGOS NIGERIA.
 
BOB.

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
My weekend was wonderful! Thank you very much for asking! On Friday night, I joined a friend for dinner. We went to the famous Palms Thai Restaurant on Hollywood Boulevard. To be honest with you Bob, the food at this place is subpar, but there's a high kitsch factor, because the Palms is famous for dinnertime karaoke performances by a Thai Elvis impersonator. Since my companion was from out-of-town, I thought the novelty of the place outweighed our culinary interests. Boy was I wrong. Though Thai Elvis did a serviceable job on "Unchained Melody," the Pad Thai was unaccountably salty, and the claypot catfish underwhelming at best. After a few bottles of Sing Ha and some admittedly well-executed ballads, we made our exit. The rest of the evening was fine, though it did do a number on my pocketbook. My companion drinks like a fish, so I took her on an alcohol-drenched tour of East Side watering holes. Eventually we ended up at my place, watching TV into the wee hours. I was still unsure whether I was going to make a pass at her. I had rather diplomatically offered her my bed for the evening, while I opted for the floor. Though we were both quite inebriated, and the conversation often drifted into what you might call flirting, I never got the go-ahead I was looking for. Eventually the booze worked its magic and I passed out, without ever making my move. On Saturday, I bummed around the neighborhood, did some laundry and then caught a movie with my friend Josh. After the movie and a late dinner at the Cat & Fiddle Pub, we ended up on a Los Feliz rooftop, smoking cloves and discussing the Scott Peterson murder trial with a real live court reporter for Fox News. That's the funny thing about Hollywood. You're always running into TV celebrities around here! On Sunday, I slept late and then went to my weekly kickball game. I scored a base hit, but also committed two fielding errors. All in all, not a bad game, but the hedonism of the previous two nights was clearly making its presence felt. I finished the weekend by working my weekly evening shift at the video store. Business was slow, so I had ample time to catch up on reading the news online. It seems Dave Chappelle had a bit of a meltdown recently. And Newsweek said some mean things about our boys at Guantanamo. At midnight, we closed the store and I headed home. Before bed I indulged in the first 10 or 15 minutes of the latest Tinto Brass import DVD, a real smoker called "Cheeky." My loins properly ignited, I switched off the telly and replayed my favorite moments in my head, helping myself to a leisurely climax, before toweling myself dry and drifting off to sleep. All in all, a fine weekend, Bob.
 
Thanks for sending all of the payment information. We'll get cracking on that ASAP.

Sincerely,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy


matt,
hanks for the reply, i'm still awaiting in hearing from you regarding the tracking number,

bob

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
Thank you for your most ardent message. Alas, I don't have a tracking number for you just yet. There's been an unexpected run on the Alpine KCA-420i iPod control interface adapters you ordered. I'm afraid there are no more of these in our warehouse. I can substitute 6 cases of Otter Pops for the same price. While they're not an obvious substitute for the adapters you wanted, you must admit they're a sweet treat on a hot August day. Would you like me to make this substitution? Or would you prefer to wait 6 weeks for the Alpine product to come back in stock? Please let me know.
 
Yours very truly,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy
 

matt,
 
hello,
thanks for the reply, okay, i want you to go ahead and ship these once in stock now and leave the remaning one for back order or can be shipp with along with second order, i await your response asap so i can proceed in sending you the list for the second order, i await your response asap with the tracking number for these one in stock.

thanks and regards
bob lee

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
Thank you for you most fatuous message. I understand that you wish to decline the Otter Pops and have us ship only the items that are currently in stock. Once we have inventory on the Alpine product, we will send it to you. Because we have a high degree of customer service here, my supervisor requests documentation that you are making this change to your order. Please send us a photo of yourself holding a sign which reads:
 
"I do not want delicious Otter Pops."
 
You may send the photo as a jpeg or gif. Once we are in receipt of this photo, we can ship the rest of the order immediately. Thank you for your cheerful compliance.
 
Sincerely,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy
 
Matt,
 
THANKS FOR THE REPLY, I'M TRYING TO CALL YOU NOW BUT IS NOT GOINT THRU, DUE TO YOUR EMAIL, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND YOU CALL ME NOW WITH THIS NUMBER TO DISCUSS BETTER:234-8023552240. BUT ALL WHAT I NEED REGARDING MY ORDER IS THAT, NOT THAT I WANT TO DECLINE SOME ORDER, YOU CAN ONLY MAKE IT AS BACK ORDER WHICH HAVE PAID, FOR AND I WILL FORWARD MY SECOND ORDER LIST,TO ADVISE PRICE ON AND LATTER THE REMAING ORDER THAT BACK CAN BE SHIPP ALONG WITH THE SECOND, BUT ALL WHAT I NEED NOW IS TO SHIP THE ONCE YOUHAVE IN STOCK AND GET BACK TO ME NOW WITH TRACKING NUMBER. CALL ME NOW TO DISCUSS BETTER VOICE TO VOICE.
I AWAIT YOUR RESPJSE NOW
BOb Lee.

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
I'm afraid our phones are down at the moment. Hurricane Tobias has ravaged the entire Pacific Coast. I may have to swim back to my apartment in Silverlake. In any case, let me explain our policy. We can only send your order if you send us a photograph of yourself holding a sign which reads:
 
"I do not want delicious Otter Pops."
 
As I'm sure you understand, we hold Sir Isaac Lime in very high esteem around these parts. He has informed me by telegram that it is simply breaking Little Orphan Orange's heart to know that the children of Lagos do not want to enjoy her sweet, sticky juices. Sir Isaac has asked for proof that you do not want the delicious Otter Pops. Until we have photographic proof, we cannot proceed. I trust that you will meet Sir Isaac's demands. Please inform me of your intentions. If you cannot send the photo, etiquette dictates that we must cancel your order at once.

Sincerely,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy

(In response to my request, "Bob Lee" sent the following photograph.)

bob lee

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
Thank you very much for sending this photograph. While you appear to be a lovely young man, you have not yet completed our request. In the photograph, we need you to hold a sign reading:
 
"I do not want delicious Otter Pops."
 
If we do not receive this photograph within 24 hours, your order will expire from our system, and we will be forced to cancel the shipment. Please Bob, do it for Little Orphan Orange.
 
Sincerely,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy


Matt,
what is going on

bob lee………..

My Dear Mr. Bob Lee,
 
What's up dawg? We never received the photo we requested, so unfortunately we had to euthanize your order. Would you like to play again?
 
Sincerely,
Matt – Electronix Galaxy

NO FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE.

Published on April 10, 2006 at 1:05 am  Leave a Comment  

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